JetCityOrange is the voice of Jerry Whiting, live from Seattle. Unabashedly leftist, Buddhist, photo nut, walking bundle of contradictions. In short, a character. Dad to 3 sons, Cleveland born, a vegetarian before you could spell it. Also found at JetCityOrange.com
Whether you've been naughty or nice, Santa has a little surprise under the tree this year. Post I-502 Old Saint Nick can finally show his true self and dispense a little joy to all the boyz & grlz.
The gift to give & get is an MMJ bento box. Filled with Xmas cheer w/o eggnog or fruitcake, these little gems are sure to make any Christmas morning glow with the warmth of the season.
Enjoy the spirit of the holiday season and share a little joy with the elves in your life. (69.51a MMJ patients with paperwork.)
I'm only partly through gift opening but so far the pocket breathalyzer has a slim lead followed closely by clever tea making setup + mug sporting caffeine molecule etching. If I could only put the breathalyzer online like a webcam...
I hope Santa was as good to you. Now on to the rest of the prezzies...
I know, I know. Every year I pester you with promises of vastly improved behavior in exchange for yet-another-too-good-be-true gift (that I really don't need, yet alone deserve). And every demand, errr, "request", is more undeserving, selfish, and flagrant than the last. Insult to injury, I hate Xmas, ain't a Christian, and misbehave no matter what I say or unwrap 25dec.
That said, let me state here and now, before man and beast, "I'm a new person." And I really, REALLY mean it this time. From the bottom of my heart. I do.
"Why this sudden epithany?" you ask. "Has Little Elmer seen the error of his ways and truly reformed? Have my prayers finally been answered? Has the little m'fucker finally matured and grown up?"
Nah. But I found this totally kewl toy I want someone else to buy me. I'm broke cuz this new mortgage is breakin' my back. Come on Nick, help a brotha out: http://www.thinkgeek.com/electronics/audio/a02a/?cpg=67H
Watch the video. Groove to the soundz. Imagine the delight it will bring to me and all those within earshot. The hits, the radio play, going platinum, the adoring fans 'round the world, the freaky groupies waiting backstage, ...
